Tattoo story

Her eyes grew wide as I showed her the words newly tattooed on my wrist. She immediately turned my hand to check if the wedding band was still there. The questions were on her face but the answers had to wait until the speeches were over. My colleague and I were being welcomed back to a new school year.

Sometime last year I had shared with my lunch buddies that I would like a tattoo, but my husband said, “That’s how I’ll know it’s over; when you come home with a tattoo”. My grandfather had tattoos, my brother had tattoos, and both our grown daughters have tattoos, but he hated them! He isn’t fond of ear piercings or any piercings for that matter, and has none of his own; a conservative guy.

There’s also the squeamish factor. He freaked out when I told him I was getting contact lenses to replace the bifocals I’d been wearing a half dozen years ago. It’s not that he didn’t want to see my baby blues again, it was he can’t stand the thought of sticking my finger in my eye. No amount of explaining made him comfortable with the process so I do it in the privacy of the bathroom.

The ring was still there, thirty one years of marriage had not been dissolved by ink on the skin. How his mind was changed is another story.

That summer, like most summers, the two of us had a fantastic vacation planned. A stay at Lake Tahoe with ventures into California to see Yosemite before a weekend in Reno. We had the condo, we had the plane tickets, we rented the rooms in Reno; ten days covered.

Two weeks before we were scheduled to leave, my husband began to sense that his job was tenuous. There had been signs that were easy to ignore because the money was good; but it was becoming more apparent that he could come back from vacation to no job. A lot of late night discussion had us vacillating between a “stay-cation” which was becoming popular in the tough economic times we were living in and going all out in a last hurrah! The decision was made that the time away was more valuable and could never be taken away from us whereas staying home would cause resentment. (The loss of the cost of plane tickets factored in as well.)

Lake Tahoe is amazing! We had a wonderful time taking walks to the lake, driving around the lake, hiking to take photos and enjoying picnic lunches we had made ourselves. Our plan was to eat in most of the time, an advantage of the condo. The condo even had a grill on the patio. We shared the cooking. It had been a long time since he made ME breakfast!

We planned a splurge or two by having dinner out. We dressed up and had a “date” making eating out extra special. Wine, dinner, dessert, a great view of the lake…priceless.
There was so much to do outside that exploring frugally wasn’t hard. A decision was made to not deprive ourselves of an experience we might never have again. Splurges included a sailboat ride on Lake Tahoe and a gondola ride to the top of the ski slopes. We connected more than previous vacations taking long walks and having heart to heart talks. Looking at the stars over the lake we realized how grateful we were for a wonderful life. We’ve been through a lot in our marriage and raising two daughters to adulthood. This would be just a bump in the road together.

On a day trip to Yosemite I said to him that we really seized the day this year. He turned to me and said he’d be okay if I got that tattooed on my wrist. It was the theme of our vacation, unspoken until that point.

Our marriage was strengthened by the trials and tribulations. We have both grown and changed. And sometimes we change our minds about things. My birthday gift from him a few weeks after our return was to pay for my tattoo. Life lesson learned and there in ink to be shared: Carpe Diem